What an amazing Independence Day weekend. I've spent it in Ramona, California with Kevin, his children, and Cheyenne. The laughter, genuine love, and acceptance of visiting family - reminds me if my own. 4th's of the past were fun and exciting, days of sparklers and homemade strawberry ice cream. Ooooooh, and those ash snake things, that you lit the pellets and the expanded? My family's building up the little ones again, all the holidays are getting more exciting as the new generation gets older - but there was a time I wondered if Chey would have the wonderful memories I did.
Then, this weekend happened. Lori, Kevin's "Aunt" is an amazing woman. She coordinated this weekend with 45 family members and friends, great food, and traditions. One new one was singing a hymn called "God be with you till we meet again." The family gathered around a grand piano and sang it. Some, like Kevin and his Father sing melodically, while others sang with "heart" as I like to call it. The song sang of God's protection and his promise, it reminds one of his love and grace, and for me it reminded me of God answering my prayers and putting more and more people in my life who show his love, show me this world is not to be dismissed for its wonders and joys...that life is good and that God is great.
Happy Independence Day!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Monday, July 4, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
It's Independence Day....
Makenna's death, was my Independence Day. Makenna getting to go to Heaven gave me a passage to my Independence. I'm sure that sounds horrible. I'm positive I have readers who can't quite comprehend the logic behind my belief. I do NOT believe that Makenna was taken from this world because I didn't pay attention to the countless other slaps upside the head I had recieved to provide a acceptable way to leave. I do believe that The growth that I had spirtually from her death, provided me with the faith I needed to pack up and leave. To trust God, that he would provide.
I believe that prayer isn't about asking "why," I think that's doubting God's plan. You know, like when you tell you child to make their bed, they say "why" and you really want to say "because I said so, I'm the boss." Prayer for me has evolved into asking for clarity, for guidance, for the answer to "what." As in "Okay God, what the HECK am I supposed to do with this one." This clarity, came to me on Februaru 21, 2010. I had just hung up the phone, after making two very hard phone calls. The reality of never holding Makenna again sank in, when I realized that my heart was being drawn to move. But to what? I looked up, the sun was setting between two houses, the wind was blowing, a tree stood bold and strong. I heard traffic, children playing, people talking and I felt God. I whispered, a prayer from my heart "what do I do with this?" Without hesistation I heard "my plan Jess."
What is that plan? It's amazing. Since the day I began gaining independence from this world, and starting to trust in the plan that God has for me amazing things have happened. I've gained insight to amazing friendships, been loved in ways I never thought I would be, and my beauty, worth and purpose is continually being revealed. Pursuing the "what" is pretty awesome! Live intentionally, still your heart and listen, enjoy this life for all it's worth. That's my Independence.
God's love is awe inspiring
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 12"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. 13-14"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back
I believe that prayer isn't about asking "why," I think that's doubting God's plan. You know, like when you tell you child to make their bed, they say "why" and you really want to say "because I said so, I'm the boss." Prayer for me has evolved into asking for clarity, for guidance, for the answer to "what." As in "Okay God, what the HECK am I supposed to do with this one." This clarity, came to me on Februaru 21, 2010. I had just hung up the phone, after making two very hard phone calls. The reality of never holding Makenna again sank in, when I realized that my heart was being drawn to move. But to what? I looked up, the sun was setting between two houses, the wind was blowing, a tree stood bold and strong. I heard traffic, children playing, people talking and I felt God. I whispered, a prayer from my heart "what do I do with this?" Without hesistation I heard "my plan Jess."
What is that plan? It's amazing. Since the day I began gaining independence from this world, and starting to trust in the plan that God has for me amazing things have happened. I've gained insight to amazing friendships, been loved in ways I never thought I would be, and my beauty, worth and purpose is continually being revealed. Pursuing the "what" is pretty awesome! Live intentionally, still your heart and listen, enjoy this life for all it's worth. That's my Independence.
God's love is awe inspiring
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 12"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. 13-14"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back
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