Been a while....

The aching from mourning is beginning to subside...or perhaps it will be like the tides of the ocean and come back when some pull increases. For now the aching has turned, I don't know how quite to describe it.  Not aching, not "better," just different.  Other things that have turned is my perspective. There is a song we sung in church this weekend that really put some things in a different light, called "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" the lyrics:
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,


Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace"
 
So many of my stresses come from my changes in earthly possessions...well actually all of them do. From my car to my family and friends, they are all of this earth right?  My material possessions bring way to much stress to my life, I let the possibility of losing them consume me and that leads to stress. This stress manifest in unkindness and greed which isn't the way I want to walk my life right now, that definitely isn't God's will. So, I have made the conscience effort in recent days to let go what I can't control and try to understand what I can, with the grace of God. It's difficult and I'm not perfect. I have been blessed in my life to be taken care of, to be provided for. I have rarely been in want, and never in need. I have to remind myself of that consistently, and remember that while I may do the foot work, or my family and friends may it is ONLY by the grace of God that I am where I am today.
I know true happiness will come from selflessness, not from the car I drive, where I live, or the clothes I wear. It will come through service to others, to my God. I have a lot to look forward to in life, and in eartly death as long as I keep my eyes upon Jesus. The way, the truth, the light.