Today, was rough. Thinking about things I hadn't thought of in a long time, if ever. Driving home from work I prayed that God just show me that Makenna was okay. That in those last minutes she didn't feel pain, that she just continued her dance in heaven. That heaven was truly as magnificent - hopefully more so than I could ever imagine.
Then, he showed me. Not in some get reveal of a show choir of angelic host, a shooting star, or even a rainbow in the distance. No, he opened my eyes to what was in front of me. Mountains to my right, huge clouds from a recent storm in the distance, a brisk fall like breeze, and the crazy lady in the car next to me rocking out in what obviously should of been the hit of the century. I had to smile. Had to see how truly amazing this world is. The miracle of everything just working - sometimes dysfunctional, but working. If he could make THIS world so spectacular, to bless so many in a world ruled by Satan, then surely, SURELY Makenna was safe in his arms that morning, that she is experiencing incredible happiness waiting for THIS world to be new again.
How truly amazing is it that it rains? that babies are born? that I have survived numerous trips up and down stairs without breaking my neck? How truly amazing is it, that there is a God who has the grace to forgive - yet hold accountable. Who's influences makes me to be a better member of society and also grants me the chance at eternal life. The opportunity to dance and laugh with my babies for ever?
When I prayed for a sign, I didn't expect to get it from the blonde chick rocking out to - well, whatever she was rocking out too. But that's where I saw it. That's where I realized that there is NO way it's just "happenstance" things happen in our world, that indeed promises are true. It made my heart lighter, my conviction stronger, and just a bit more strength to get through the next minute, hour, day, year...whatever God has planned for me.
The realization that this IS my new reality, and I don't have to rely on my strength, I get to find comfort in God's grace.
Life is good. God is great.
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JESSICA,
ReplyDeleteOh, how you inspire me! God is using you to bring me (and so many others)up! To make us face the fact that life doesn't "suck" and that we are not "victims" here. I love you as my sister in Christ and I pray the absolute BEST things for you ever! I have never even met you, yet I would give you my kidney if ever you needed one! I would half my lotto winnings with you if I ever were to win. And I will pray continuously for you for the rest of my existence whether we keep in touch or not! YOU have made a HUGE impact in my life. I have many close friends...but none that I share this sort of "sisterhood" with.
God Bless you day after day!
Jennifer
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteYou are truly an inspiration to all. I work with your mom and have met your beautiful little Cheyanne. Keep your eyes on the Lord and continue to see the beauty in all His works. Thank you so much for this post. Truly amazing work the Lord is doing in your life. God Bless you sweetie. Cindy W.